Had a late lunch with "B" the other day. My delicious turkey sandwich, served on wax paper, was rather generous, so I decided to take half home.

As I prepared to ask the sandwich server for a transport bag, "B" said:

"Do you really need a bag?"

"Well, yeah, I'm taking it home".

"But do you really need a bag?"

Am I not enunciating? Is "B" going deaf?

"Yes 'B'," I replied, "Unlike you, I didn't scarf down my entire sandwich, so I'm taking the uneaten half home, which means I need a bag."

"B"'s normally cute eyes began to glow.

"Do. You. Really. Need. A. Bag." This time there was no question mark.

I finally got it.

"Ohhhh. Right. You're asking if I need a bag, but you mean, 'can't you transport the leftover half sandwich in the wax paper, YOU GLOBE-WARMING, RESOURCE-SQUANDERING, LANDFILL-FILLING, WASTEFUL WASTREL?'"

"B" put on her "prissy teacher-who's-just-launched-a-teachable-moment" face.

This project is either going to deepen our friendship or end it.