What do Chinese stocks and Apple have in common? They're part of a parallel universe. While Wall Street suffered one of the biggest plunges of the year today, the Shanghai Composite Index hit an all-time record high. The market's rebound has driven the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China past Citigroup and into the top spot as the world's largest bank by market capitalization.

Meanwhile, Apple's shares jumped 7 percent today after Wednesday's earnings report showed a 74 percent rise in profit.

I'd grab my iPhone and move to Shanghai, but apparently I can already get one there for $150.