"Ah good morning Mr. Postman.
"I bet you consider yourself to be a journalist, don't you?
"Well sir, I hate to delude you a little bit here, break your bubble, whatever; even the most causal reader can look at your column today and realize that you're nothing but a political hack and shill for the Democrats.
"So why don't you stop masquerading. And what amazes me is they put your political diatribe on the page marked 'local news.'
"The news content is zero, sir, in your column. Zero.
"So you just have a good ol' Democrat day down there in Olympia, or whatever rock you've crawled under for the night.
"Good day to you sir."