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December 3, 2008 10:35 AM

Powerless Rankings: Stress, duress and Plaxico Burress

Posted by Jerry Brewer

Excuse the break in action this week. I've been ill, but not too sick to ignore the craziness in sports over the past week or so. Let's start up the blog again with the Powerless Rankings.

Our weekly tracking of the 10 most hapless stories in sports:

10. Andre Miller
There's an ankle breaker, and then there's what Derrick Rose did to Miller last week. In this YouTube era, Miller will never be able to live it down. (Be sure to listen to the color analyst; he's hilarious.)

9. UW coaching search
You nervous yet? Right now, the way some sitting coaches are gluing themselves to their current jobs, it's hard to know who Mark Emmert and Scott Woodward will try to present as a savior.

8. Tracy McGrady
By now, his middle name should be Out For Three Weeks.

7. Allen Iverson
PRAC-TISS?!?! We're talkin' about PRAC-TISS! On Thanksgiving? No thanks.

6. Stephon Marbury
And to end the NBA gauntlet, presenting the most overpaid, do-nothing in sports.

5. Texas Longhorns
Whipped Oklahoma in October; whipped by the BCS rankings in December. Computers are so darned strange.

Excerpt From Coach Greg Robinson's Last News Conference

4. Greg Robinson
If only Willingham would go out in this manner, telling the media a children's story. If only! Check out Robinson, the outgoing Syracuse coach, defending himself with "The Little Engine That Could."

3. NFL players and diuretics
Six players, including Minnesota defensive lineman Kevin and Pat Williams, have been suspended for using a diuretic, which sometimes doubles as a veil for steroids. Sadly, it's not even the most unfortunate NFL story of the week.

2. Sean Avery
The NHL suspended the bad boy for making a raunchy joke to the media about other players falling for girls he'd dated. Two words: pompous idiot.

1. Plaxico Burress
Hate it when my gun goes off in my sweatpants. Just hate it.

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