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Jerry Brewer explains the thinking behind his columns and invites readers to express their views on the sports world.

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August 27, 2008 8:51 PM

Powerless Rankings: Coveting gap-toothed Hall of Famers

Posted by Jerry Brewer

Our weekly tracking of the 10 most absurd, disappointing or unfortunate stories in sports:

10. Monta Ellis
Comment: The young Golden State Warriors guard will miss 3-4 months with an ankle injury. Never what you want to hear after a guy signs a $66 million contract.

9. The Rick Neuheisel Effect
Comment: The wacky former Husky coach is back to his needling ways. UCLA has a new ad out, with Slick Rick featured, declaring that the Bruins are coming after USC. Must admit I laughed when I first saw it. But this was a foolish move.

8. Chad Johnson
Comment: Ocho Cinco has a partially torn labrum in his shoulder. He will try to play, but who knows if he can last the season? Suggestion: No crazy arm movements during touchdown celebrations this season, Chad.

7. O.J. Simpson
Comment: Hate to bring down this blog post by talking about the Juice, but check out this story. His daughter, Arnelle, beat him down recently. If we're fully committed to tracking absurdity in sports, this story is a must.

6. New York Giants
Comment: Now that Osi Umenyiora is out for the season, the defending Super Bowl champs are without three of their ace pass rushers this season. This won't be the same team that conquered Tom Brady last February.

5. Michael Strahan
Comment: The loquacious, gap-toothed one decided to stay retired after reportedly asking the Giants for a ridiculous amount of cash to come back. Too bad. Now we must listen to Strahan on TV all year.

4. Matt Leinart
Comment: Kurt Warner is expected to start over Leinart this season. All that talk about Leinart's maturation was apparently a preseason myth.

3. Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards
Comment: The NASCAR stars have put on probation for six weeks after an unsportsmanlike altercation following a race last Sunday. This would be a huge deal if an NBA or NFL player had acted the way they did. And these guys were misbehaving in their cars.

2. Shawne Merriman
Comment: The San Diego Chargers linebacker will forego surgery on two torn knee ligaments and try to play this season. He's essentially going against the advice of four doctors. Here's hoping he doesn't ruin his career because he wants to be a warrior.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars wide receivers
Comment: One receiver (Matt Jones) got busted cutting cocaine with a credit card. Another (Reggie Williams, former UW star) had knee surgery. And then Jerry Porter, believed to be a relevant player once, is out after undergoing hamstring surgery. And now there are reports that Dennis Northcutt, is being accused of a brutal assault of a woman who claims she's having his baby. The position is so bad that Troy Williamson, considered a bust, is Mr. Dependable.

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